What Happens When You Examine The Life You Live vs. The Life You Want to Live
In the Summer of 2008, Tory Leggat took the leap to move from Seattle to NYC with no job and no real friends, but all the optimism and pluck of a 22-year old ready to live out a dream of a year in the Big Apple. But when the (financial) world crumbled within days of her arrival to NYC, Tory had to recalibrate her expectations for work, personal finances, and community—and also her perspective on living out her one-year ‘passion project’. Being lonely, jobless, and aimless in NYC, Tory learned the value of being pot-committed on scary things, saying ‘yes’ to everything and going all out to live the biggest life possible.
Throughout this journey, and many others since, Tory thoughtfully reflected on these life lessons and others, and began articulating them as ‘guidelines’ for her life. Accumulating these rules for living—like “Remember what YOU are trying to do and forget others’ commentary on it“, “Don’t stress spending money on great experiences” or “Appreciate your job”—she’s created a wise-beyond-her-years framework for big-life-living.
Listen to Tory as she shares this framework, being challenged by the realization that the wonderful, big-life she had lived (happy, comfortable and optimized for fun) was coming up against the even-better life she wanted to live (sacrificial, meaningful and bigger than herself).
Takeaways:
- Remember the variables
- Spot the opportunities
- Don’t take too much advice
- Own what you’re trying to do
You can find the transcript for this episode here. Find transcripts for all episodes here.
Question of the Day
What variables do you have in your life that you’re overlooking?
What’s true for your Experience Self at this point in your life? Describe what you see for your Narrative Self?
Share your story in the comments below
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Links From the Episode
Lehman Brothers Declares Bankruptcy
Alexander West: custom men’s dress shirts
Yuval Harari on the Armchair Expert podcast
Book: ‘Principles’ by Ray Dalio
Book: ‘A Million Miles in a Thousand Years’ by Donald Miller
Book: ‘Shoe Dog’ by Phil Knight
Book: ‘Ride of a Lifetime’ by Bob Iger
Book: ’12 Rule for Life’ by Jordan Peterson
Music by Hygge – “Quarantrap“. Please follow her on SoundCloud
Episode Highlights
[6:45] Who is Tory?
[9:42] How did people respond when she told them she was moving to New York City
[14:30] Moving into the heart of a financial crisis, by accident
[23:47] Learning. a lesson about jobs and networking
[32:57] What did Tory get out of the experience?
[41:23] What affected Tory going forward in her life?
[47:44] Narrative Self vs Experience Self
The Interesting Lives of Normal People is a regular conversation with someone interesting. Our job is to ask good questions with a belief that on the other side of being asked good questions, everyone has a great story we can learn from.